The Art of Proddy

Oh, Nairobi. A dazzling city with a heartbeat louder than a Nganya’s stereo and a vibe smoother than your favourite TikTok influencer. To the normal eye, it’s a city of dreams where business deals meet brunch, and everyone’s social media profile is suspiciously glowing. But step beyond the billboards and the filters, and you’ll discover a plot twist worthy of a soap opera: love, lust, and a sprinkling of power games mixing together like an overly enthusiastic blender.

Now, in Nairobi’s love jungle, nothing is ever quite what it seems. People here have mastered the craft of saying “You’re the one” while simultaneously texting five other “ones.” It’s Shakespeare meets shenanigans, stories of commitment with footnotes of “but don’t ask questions.” You’ll hear vows so poetic you’d swear they were ghostwritten by Ngugi Wa Thiong’o, only to find out they were edited from last week’s situationship.😂

Cheating? It’s so common, Nairobians might start putting “part-time lover” on their CVs. Double lives are more popular than Netflix accounts, and you’ll meet people who can juggle romantic partners the way hawkers juggle phone covers in traffic. Some chase the thrill of the hunt, others chase wallets, and a few just got bored between football matches.

And then there’s the apology crew, those who offer heartfelt “sorry baby, I’ll change” speeches like it’s their side hustle. You’ll hear tearful confessions and promises of transformation, only for the script to repeat faster than a TikTok trend. They don’t really change, and they are just sorry they were caught. They just get better at acting surprised when you catch them again.

Lurking underneath all this rom-com chaos is the real puppet master: power. Whether it’s money, status, or simply having more social media followers, it pulls strings like a silent DJ at a really awkward “Disco Matanga”. Relationships tiptoe the edge of transactions, and sometimes, it feels like falling in love requires a tax clearance certificate, a certificate of good conduct and a lifestyle audit.

But hey, we still love our Nairobi albeit with one eye open and receipts saved. If you navigate it with charm, caution, and a pinch of streetwise grace, you might just sidestep the landmines. Or you’ll at least have good stories to tell at your next nyama choma hangout. Either way, welcome to the “Big bedroom”… I mean, city.

There was a time when we were inseparable—siblings who played, fought, dreamed, and grew up together. We knew each other’s secrets, protected one another from bullies, and whispered about our plans for the future late into the night. Back then, family was everything. We were each other’s first friends. But somewhere along the way, the laughter faded, replaced by silence, bitterness, and distance.

What happened?

In many families, the erosion of sibling bonds begins quietly. Sometimes it starts with favoritism—an unspoken but deeply felt tilt by one or both parents. One child is praised more, given more leeway, or protected more fiercely. Another is compared, criticized, or quietly overlooked. The wounds of favoritism run deep. Even if it wasn’t intended maliciously, the child who felt sidelined grows up believing they are less loved, and the child favored often grows blind to their own privilege within the family.

These cracks grow wider in times of crisis. Divorce or separation of parents shifts the family’s emotional center. Loyalties get tested. Some children take sides. Others feel abandoned altogether. What was once a united front becomes divided homes and scattered affections. The children who once huddled together against the world are now navigating fractured households—and fractured relationships with each other.

Then comes adulthood, and with it, success and struggle. Some siblings rise quickly—financially stable, well-connected, respected. Others stumble, facing unemployment, failed ventures, or personal hardships. In many families, the successful begin to look down on those still finding their footing. Conversations become judgmental. Visits grow rare. Humility is replaced with condescension. And suddenly, siblinghood begins to resemble a competition rather than a bond.

All this happens while time, quietly but cruelly, does its work. Aging parents begin to need their children more than ever—not just financially, but emotionally. Yet more often than not, it is the struggling sibling who remains close, not because they have less to do, but because they remember what it means to need someone. The successful ones, consumed by the busyness of their own lives, stay away—calls are missed, visits postponed, responsibilities deflected.

In some homes, mothers live with one child, usually the most dependable, while the father is left alone—aging in the village, neglected, as if love and duty now have a location limit. The parent who once gave their all is now seen as an afterthought. And the child who bears the weight of care is silently resentful, carrying both emotional and physical burdens.

So, what do we do when the family we once knew begins to feel like strangers?

1. Acknowledge the pain. It’s okay to grieve what was lost. It’s okay to admit that favoritism hurt, that divorce was disorienting, that being looked down upon by a sibling cuts deep.

2. Have the hard conversations. They won’t be easy, but healing begins with honesty. Sit down. Talk. Ask. Listen. Not to argue or defend, but to understand.

3. Rebuild with intention. Relationships don’t heal by accident. Start small. A call. A message. A visit. Let time work with you instead of against you.

4. Care for aging parents—together. It’s not about who they live with, but how they’re loved. Spread the responsibility fairly. No one should grow old feeling abandoned.

5. Stay humble. Success is never a license to disrespect. Your sibling’s struggle doesn’t make them less. If anything, it’s a reason to lean in, not pull away.

Families aren’t perfect. They’re made of flawed people trying their best. But it is in family that we often find our deepest sense of belonging—or our deepest wounds. The good news is, it’s never too late to choose love again. To repair what was broken. To remind each other that before life got complicated, we were just kids who loved each other fiercely.

Let’s find our way back!!

Here is a poem about mental health.

The struggles of the victims; The onlooker’s perspective.
by Mutwiri Njeru – Baranya .

He was kind and forgiving,
He was loyal and understanding.
He was humble and honest,
He was Generous and Patient.
Empathetic and Compassionate.

No one saw it coming!
And the way he was charming?
And the way he used to laugh?
His jokes were the heart of the party.
He took care of everyone.

No one knew of his fears,
No one saw the tears.
No one felt his pain.
No one knew of the sleepless nights.
No one knew of the financial strain.

I wish he could have reached out.
I wish he could have come to me.
I wish I knew what he was going through.
Was it  money?Was it Love?
“I can’t lose hope.”, they’ll say.
“Life is so beautiful to abandon.”
But in the end we are all alone.
And No one is coming to save us.

🚨Please, if you or anyone you know is struggling with mental health or suicidal thoughts. Visit Befrienders Kenya on Facebook or at http://www.befrienders.org or call them on 0722178177 and you will be connected with a Counselor.

Let’s take care of each other.

As we grow old having friends is now very important. It’s not easy to make friends at this age. Do not let work and life get in between your friendships. Be intentional with them. Soon you will retire and head back to the village or your retirement home or wherever it is you are gonna end up. It’s the friends of your youth who will still laugh at your silly jokes, sit by your side at your daughter’s Ruracio, or have your back when you go in for a colonoscopy.

Studies have shown that social connections are crucial for maintaining cognitive function and emotional well-being. Without friends to share our old age with, we may find ourselves struggling with depression and anxiety, which can also lead to other health issues.

The support system that friends provide is irreplaceable, offering companionship and also a sense of belonging, and purpose.

Our family dynamics will shift. Our kids will grow up and leave home. Our wives will spend weeks on end visiting with the kids. Our professional identities will fade, No one will remember that you used to be director or CEO. That is when the friendships we’ve nurtured over the years become a cornerstone of our social lives. These relationships remind us of who we are and where we’ve come from. They enrich our lives in countless ways.

Choose lifetime friendships and nurture them. You will need them very soon.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects both children and adults. It is characterized by symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity.

Symptoms.

ADHD symptoms can vary but generally fall into two categories: inattention and hyperactivity-impulsivity.

Inattention:

• Difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities.
• Frequent careless mistakes in schoolwork or other activities.
• Often seems not to listen when spoken to directly.
• Trouble organizing tasks and activities.
• Avoids or dislikes tasks that require sustained mental effort.
• Frequently loses items necessary for tasks and activities.
• Easily distracted by extraneous stimuli.
• Forgetfulness in daily activities.

Hyperactivity-Impulsivity:

• Fidgeting or tapping hands or feet.
• Inability to stay seated in situations where it is expected.
• Running or climbing in inappropriate situations.
• Inability to play or engage in activities quietly.
• Talking excessively.
• Interrupting or intruding on others’ conversations or games.
• Difficulty waiting for their turn.

Diagnosis.

Diagnosing ADHD typically involves a comprehensive evaluation by a specialist, such as a psychiatrist, psychologist, or pediatrician. The process may include:

• Detailed interviews with the individual and their family.
• Questionnaires or rating scales to assess symptoms.
• Observations of behavior in different settings (e.g., home, school).
• Medical examinations to rule out other conditions.

Treatment.

ADHD can be managed with a combination of medication, therapy, and lifestyle changes¹²³.

Medications:

• Stimulants: Methylphenidate and amphetamines are commonly prescribed and can help increase attention and focus.
• Non-stimulants: Atomoxetine and guanfacine are alternatives for those who do not respond well to stimulants.

Therapies:

• Behavioral Therapy: Helps individuals develop coping strategies and skills to manage symptoms.
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Focuses on changing negative thought patterns and behaviors.
• Parent Training and Education Programs: Teach parents strategies to support their child’s development and manage behavior.

Lifestyle Changes:

• Establishing routines and organizational systems.
• Regular physical activity.
• Healthy diet.
• Adequate sleep.